Have you ever found yourself massively over-preparing? Maybe triple-checking your work, when a good proof-read was all that was needed?

Or maybe you've struggled to switch off from work in the evening, paralysed by the fear of making a mistake.

Or perhaps, you've spent hours and hours trying to fine tune an advice to get it absolutely perfect when it was actually perfectly good absolutely met the client's needs hours. As a General Counsel Kathleen used to work for used to say, this is a case of giving the Rolls Royce advice when all the client needed was the reliable, good quality Toyota.  Still an excellent car that gets you where you need to go... 

Perfectionism is rife in the legal profession.  And indeed, in a profession where we owe our clients certain duties, where consequences of mistakes can be significant, it is no surprise that we are often introduced to cultures of perfectionism from the very beginning of our career. 

It's a race against deadlines, client expectations, and the relentless drive to produce flawless work.

The Complexity of Perfectionism

As Carla explained in Episode 17 of Season 2 of the Thriving Lawyer Podcast, perfectionism extends beyond merely having high standards. It is a complex personality trait characterized by striving for flawlessness, setting unrealistic expectations, and being highly critical when things fall short. It isn't just about wanting to do things well. It's rooted in a deep-seated desire for flawlessness and is marked by self-criticism.

Drawing on the work of Paul Hewitt and Gordon Flat, Carla noted that perfectionism may be described as comprising multiple dimensions: self-oriented perfectionism, where intense pressure is placed on oneself; other-oriented perfectionism, expecting perfection from others; and socially prescribed perfectionism, where individuals believe others expect them to be perfect. This multifaceted nature influences not just our work ethic but also our interactions and relationships with others.

Carla emphasized the interpersonal aspects, explaining how perfectionists often self-promote to present a flawless image, avoiding any display of mistakes or vulnerabilities. It creates a barrier to genuine connections and exacerbates emotional distress.

As Brene Brown argues, perfectionism is also a defence mechanism against shame and a barrier to vulnerability. 

You may be have a tendency to perfectionism if you place excessively high self-demands on yourself, or have unrealistic expectations of others, or if you hold beliefs that others expect you to be perfect.

Consequences for lawyers 

More than mere high standards, perfectionism can lead to issues such as anxiety and burnout.

These tendencies can lead lawyers to hide their vulnerabilities, avoid admitting mistakes, or fail to seek advice when needed. Such patterns are more than quirks; they are associated with significant emotional distress, chronic stress, and even mental health issues.

For many lawyers, perfectionism becomes a vicious cycle, feeding into the fear of failure and criticism, and leading to a constant state of stress and dissatisfaction.

Strategies for Change 

So, how can we begin to challenge our perfectionist tendencies and foster a healthier mindset?

Recognising the harm caused by perfectionism is the first step toward improvement.  

Three Tips to Overcome Perfectionism

1. Cultivate Self-Awareness: The first step to addressing perfectionism is recognising it! Start by acknowledging when you're overly critical of your work or when you're caught up in minor details that don't add significant value. By developing self-awareness, you can begin to identify patterns of perfectionism, allowing you to address them more effectively. Where issues are deep seated, consider whether you need assistance from a mental health professional.  

2. Set Realistic and Flexible Goals: Instead of adhering to rigid standards, focus on setting achievable and adaptable goals. This involves prioritizing tasks and understanding that not everything requires perfection. When you allow yourself room to grow and learn from mistakes, you free yourself from the paralyzing fear of failure, which often exacerbates perfectionist tendencies.

3. Engage in Reflective Practice: Embrace a regular habit of reflection to assess your progress without harsh judgment. Reflective practice encourages you to evaluate both your successes and areas for improvement, promoting a growth mindset. During reflection, consider what areas are being affected by perfectionism and set intentions toward improvement over perfection.

For more insights and practical tips, don’t miss the full episode of "The Thriving Lawyer" podcast (see above, or follow where you get your podcasts), where we go deeper into strategies for thriving beyond perfectionism.